it wasnt a nightmare. it wasnt a beautiful lie. it was beautiful.
ive been playing solitaire since 2 hours ago. cause i told myself. if i dont complete this, i'll never get a chance with you ever again. and i did it. i proved my horoscope wrong.
and since i diced with fate, and i won, i know it doesnt prove anything, and its dumb to place gambles in such useless stuff, but i need that extra confidence in life.
i probably didnt mention this to anyone except nick, but i was tearing silently during my chem mcq paper. there wasnt even sobbing, just tears that came flowing, without even the slightest warning. i used to think it was dumb, dont your eyes turn watery and your nose turns sour, and you start to cry? its intrigueing.
seriously i see so much pity for nicholas. he's a damn good friend. here i was, fucking angry with myself and punching the wall till im growing blisters all over my knuckles and waking up the family in the process, and nick calls, tells me to stop punching, stop hurting myself. i dont stop. but i am thankful. at least this time, there's someone here for me.
he says i can stay at his house anytime, he'll tide this time over with me. after all, we're from the Soh family. we'll help each other in need.
i hope you said all that in just a moment of anger, for i really dont wanna go through that anguish of losing you, all over again. the pain's so bad, it hurts physically.
i cry every single time we start drifting apart. its not like i want to, its not out of gaining pity. it just fucking comes, no sobbing, no hysterical breathing, just a smile, and the tears.
if there's anything that's standing in between us, i'll erase it. and this time, saying it, means doing it. i know i've made lots of empty promises and so on, but at the end of the day, its the end of the A levels after all. thats what makes all the difference. this time, is the time i really make a difference.
ever since the 5 weeks ago when we broke up, i've been changing. rapid changes. we live for life, death and taxes. i live for life, love and death.
i want to hold you again, want to show you that nothing will ever come between us again, and that i'd give anything just to never let you get hurt.
all i can do now, is to make it through tomorrow, without you by my side. i hope you'll still reserve this place in your heart, for the melvin whom you fell in love with, a year ago, and for the new me, who is more then ever ready to love you, with all of his heart.
like i said before,
i want you more than anything else in the world, and i'll pick you over every other girl in the world. its you that ive fallen in love with, and no matter what you do, wont make me love you even the slightest bit lesser. even if i may fail, i'll pick myself up over and over again, and endure everything, just to be by your side, just like before, just like good ol' yesterday.
i dont want anyone else, i only want you.
i know in future, alot of things might try to ruin my chances with you, but im willing to go through all that shit, for i really love you. and i really cannot have any other girl by my side. none of them will ever be able to replace you, that i am fucking sure.
i know its very late alr, and we're both very tired. i went offline already, i dont wanna piss you off further. but i still hope you'll forgive my incompetence. and let your heart tell you, that this time, i really mean it. i really love you and only you.
if only i could give you happiness, if only i could make you smile just like that, till forever.
the story ends like this;
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you entered: to do
about the blogger melvin;
+ learn html
+ learn photography
+ learn to be more meticulous
+ whiter teeth
+ to be filled
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